To Gain the World
by Demon's Halo
Summary: What if Edward had killed Bella that fateful day in biology class? What would happen to the rest of the clan? What would happen to Edward and Carlisle themselves? What disasters will one simple mistake cause? AU
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Mrs. Meyers does. Please do not tell me that "Edward would never do that to Bella. He loves her!" I am aware of this. This is merely a thought experiment which I rather liked and would like to be critiqued on. Reviews are well loved.

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Everything changes when she walks into the room. All my senses shift into overdrive. I can see the pores on her skin; smell her apprehension, nervousness, and taste truly taste her blood in my mouth.

She stands in the front of the biology room, nervous and awkward. The teacher introduces her as Isabella Swan.

"I prefer Bella." Her voice is quiet, but it booms in my ears. Every quick patter of her heart sends reverberations through my chest. Horribly loud, the beating, like a pendulum slowly ticking down.

She takes a seat next to me, her delicious scent clogging my nostrils. After a moment she turns to me, "Hi, my mane's Bella." She says in that meek voice. Her mind is suspiciously blank as it had been at lunch, but in her brown eyes I see adulation, and wonder and awe. What the chorus of fallen angels surely must feel when they look upon the face of Lucifer.

And every fiber of my being pulsed 'food'.

It feels like some strange beast is trying to claw its way out of my throat as I reply with my name.

I hold my breath, my brain imagining various ways of killing her. No, think of her as a person. A person with a mother and a father. A person with hopes and dreams and thoughts and feelings I was not privy to. This irked me a bit.

It would not stick. What would I trade for just a sip of her blood? Immortality? Without a doubt. The chance to go to heaven? A small thing. My family?

I bite down on my lip. No, no surely I wouldn't trade my family to merely press my lips to her bleeding wrist. Suddenly I want to cry, truly cry for the first time in nearly a hundred years since I learned my mother and father were dead, and I had lost my immortal soul. I want to tear at my hair and curl up in a ball in the back of the room. All my years of abstinence mean nothing. I was like an addict clean ten years of the drug and suddenly exposed to a stash of pure heroin.

Except a heroin addict can not smell the heroin's sweet perfume. Or taste it in his mouth, or feel it slide down his throat soothing the fire. To feel her pulse slowly fade on my tongue...

Carlisle is whispering in my ear, "Don't do it, Edward. Stay strong." AS if he is actually here, thinking these words.

Bella leans towards me, "Is something wrong?" She looks at me with those big brown doe eyes.

Something snaps within me. I stand interrupting Mr. Banner's lecture.

"Mr. Cullen."

"I-I think Edward's sick!" Bella exclaims.

I walk up nice and slow to Banner. He backs up but not as if I was going to attack him, but vomit on him or some trite thing like that. In one of his heartbeats I pounce and snap his neck. The front row was just as easy. By this point the rest of the class is up and beginning to panic. I tear threw them easily, bloodily, till only one innocent lamb is left.

She screams as my hand grasps her arm. I feel her bones crunch beneath my iron grasp: reduced to mere powder.

"Stop! Stop! Please!" She flails, her remaining arm hitting me uselessly. "Let go off me." Her knee collides with my groin, hurting her more than me. The normally sensitive spot too solid for her. It was as if she'd just touched it. Arousal races up and down my spine. This is what serial killers feel, as they kill woman in parks. This is what the others feel.

My mouth clamps around her neck, slicing through her jugular. Precious blood floods into my mouth. In this perfect ecstasy I know this is what I am meant to do. This is the natural order, predator and its prey. This is perfect, this is euphoria. This is God's will. If not, then why would he make humans so fragile and weak compared to we vampires?

The door bangs open. People flooding in, to the sight of me with my bloodied lips pressed to the dead girl's neck.

Edward was a sight to see, drenched in blood from head to toe. His normally golden eyes were firmly clamped shut.

"Carlisle." He whispered upon my arrival. His hand reached out, through the metal bar for my hand.

"Edward." I murmur taking it.

"I..." Edward stumbled, changing his mind, "The contacts."

"Right here." I pass them to Edward.

Edward's eyes fluttered open. His source of shame now made clear in the form of two vibrant red irises. I waited for him as he slipped them in place.

"Thank you, very much, Carlisle." Edward replied, polite to a fault, "How are the others?"

I didn't need to answer for Edward to hear me. I replied though, for the guards, so that it would seem normal. "They are fine." I said adding in my mind that Alice had warned Jasper to get out. "They are all a bit shook up." Currently hunting, to clam their nerves.

"Well of course." Edward replied looking shamefaced. "Carlisle, I-I have committed serious crimes."

"I know, Edward." I replied shaking my head. But you cannot serve whatever sentence they give to you. You won't age, and you still need blood to survive. Worse they could attempt to execute you.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, Edward; it's between God and you now." Hang yourself tonight, and play dead. The rest of us will cover for you. "But you can't become a slave to your desires, Edward.

"It felt so good, though." Edward licked at the blood caked on his forearm.

"Edward." I grabbed his forearm. You are better than this. You've made a grievous mistake, but you must, must stay strong. I have faith in you, Edward.

I looked him straight in the gold turned maroon eyes. I did not need to be a mind reader to tell he wondered why I still did.

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Why do I feel like I'm going to be flamed into oblivion? Oh well I had fun writing this series, more shall come whether you like it or not so join the experiment! Give me some input! Reviews are cherished like children**!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Still don't own Twilight. Still really don't want to. Still asking the question then why am I doing this?

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**Local Teenage Murder found Dead in Jail Cell**

Edward Cullen was found dead in his jail cell last night at 11: 36 pm. The teenager seems to have hung himself with his bed sheet following yesterday's horrific blood shed.

Cullen, a junior at Fork's High School, was said to have brutally murdered his biology class yesterday at 1:30 pm. Cullen seemingly strangled and bashed in the heads of his fellow students and his teacher. He was found drinking the blood from one of his classmates. Cullen made no attempt to deny what had happened, but offered no explanation of why he had committed these horrible crimes.

Continued B3

Jasper folded the newspaper and set it down, disgust evident on his normally indiscernible face. Whether it was over the article he had been reading, or the event in question, I do not know. The entire household seemed to be containing their outrage. Even Alice and Esmee looked disgruntled, a sight I rarely, if ever, see on my wife's face.

Very soon Emmett came charging downstairs, "Mornin'." He yelled cheerily, before greeting me, "Good mornin', Big C."

"Good morning, Emmett." I replied.

Emmett rarely, if ever allowed himself to feel down after a good hunt. He's nearly talk Jasper's ears off recounting the expedition, which Jasper had undoubtedly lead. Hunting was more than a way to get food for him; it was the sport of Adonis. Not even Edward's unsavory actions could deter him from the thrill of wresting a mountain lion, and winning.

School had been cancelled, due to the event s of yesterday, and Emmett quickly turned to the subject of hunting again. The rest of the group, their thirsts sated did not seem in the mood.

I, myself, still had work to do.

Work was considerably easier than home life. The other doctors and nurses gave me a comfortable breathing room, and while they whispered to themselves, I did not mind. Let them think what they wanted to think about Edward. I knew the truth about my family.

Part of the way through my shift a police officer came to see me.

"Officer Swan?" I asked, questioning his presence, but we both know the reason.

"Dr. Cullen. I need to ask a few questions. In private." Officer Swan's jaw was set, he pulsed anger. This would not end well.

Envisioning what might happen if he confronted me with witnesses, I agreed. "My office is right here."

"Good." He seemed relieved as if he too knew what would happen."

"So, Dr. Cullen." He asked once we were situated, "It seems you were the last person to visit Ed before he offed himself."

"Yes?" Even if Edward ere only pretending to be dead, I did not like the way he referred to Edward's 'suicide'.

"Just you. Not the Mrs. or the kids."

"They were in shock and in rage." I replied, "Quite frankly, I believed it to be best if I spoke to Edward alone, to allow everyone to begin to think rationally."

"They think is, Doc." I did not like the way he addressed me, "Your son was psychologically evaluated before you came. The shrink didn't think he was a suicide threat."

"What are you saying, Officer Swan?"

"Nothin', nothin'. It's just you and the Clan are pretty strange is all." He leaned in, "It's a small town, but you and yours don't associate with anyone who isn't a Cullen."

"We enjoy our privacy."

"One of your sons slaughters everybody in his class, then hangs himself after you visit."

"I did not instruct Edward to commit suicide."

"And despite none of you being related you've all got those same eyes."

I didn't have an answer for that.

"Kinda goldy-hazel, huh, Doc. See I'm not that big on genes and stuff, but that's gotta be pretty rare. I mean even if you and your wife only adopted kids with the same eyes, that's pretty weird, huh?"

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"Well, see, the real kicker is, some of the teachers and the students claim Ed's eyes were red, after the murders." Swan leaned back looking pleased with himself, "Though most cops say it was a hallucination. I mean red eyes? What is he? A vampire?"

I leaned forward, "I assure you, Officer Swan, whatever you think about my family--"

Swan cut me off, "You're son was found sucking the blood out of my daughter's neck. Sucking the blood, Cullen." He stood, "I don't know what you are, or what you think you are, Cullen, but I want it to end."

"Officer Swan, I assure you whatever you think about my family is not true."

Officer Swan grunted, refusing to believe it. He turned, but stopped, "Oh yeah." He spun around aiming a jab to my nose. I leaned back with the punch to cushion the blow for him, "That's for my Bella."

He stomped off. From my position I could see his hand begin to swell slightly, but it seemed a worthy trade for him.

Once he left, I picked up the phone dialing our number with ease.

The phone clicked and Esmee's lovely voice came over the line, as sweet as if she were standing in the room instead of miles away.

"Cullen residence, Esmee speaking."

"Esmee, my dear, we have a problem."

"Carlisle." Her voice was low and understanding. She knew it must be a serious issue if I were to call her at work. I could almost see her head spinning to check that her brood was safe at home, and not off causing mischief.

"Officer Swan knows, or is close to knowing."

I could almost see Esmee reflexively reach to twirl the phone cord around her finger. "When are we leaving, Carlisle?"

Playing dead was easy.

Once the police found me and determined I was 'dead' they called my family. As the cause of 'death' was apparent Carlisle asked not to have an 'autopsy' performed on me. The 'funeral' was rushed quickly and very soon I was place to my 'eternal rest'. Alice had been kind enough to provide me with a thick novel and a flashlight.

The 'service' was sweet and to the point. The minister saying that my last day was a matter now between God and I, and for our Heavenly Father to have mercy on my 'soul'.

Once I was good and buried, Rosalie in her angelic soprano sang a virtuoso "Softly and tenderly." Beneath Rosalie's soprano line I could hear Jasper humming along the baritone. His own version inelegant, a simple pray offer up to God at a mock funeral, the temporary burial of a Beelzebub till he broke through the confines of death and rose from the grave.

Suddenly, my savage soul was eased, Jasper working his magic, undoubtedly. And what a powerful magic it was. The kind that could rule the world.

Later that night the vandals came. I knew them by their thoughts. Mike Newton, Eric Yorkie, and Tyler Crowly. You'd think they'd at least have the decency to wait a fortnight before destroying my grave.

"Mike..." Eric seemed unsure.

"Oh come on, stop being a pussy." Mike growled. Guilt swirled around his mind. He should have been in bio, he should be dead.

"Yeah, com on, Eric." Despite his bravado, Tyler was as scared as Eric.

I wondered what would happen if they knew I was still 'alive'.

Slowly the air became more oppressive.

"Guys..." Eric muttered again. The boy's thoughts became more erratic. A twig snapped and Tyler screamed. All was quiet and the threesome shared a nervous laugh.

"God, Tyler." Mike punched the other boy's shoulder.

An owl hooted and another twig snapped. The boy's heart rates shot up. I could hear something crawling along the ground, army style, getting closer and closer to Mike, Tyler and Eric.

"M-Maybe this isn't a good idea." Eric shuttered.

"Come on, Eric."

The thing was right upon them now, its hand reached out and grasped Mike's ankle. He screamed, loud cutting though the heavy air of the night. He fell to the ground struggling against his captor.

Tyler and Eric screamed as well, abandoning their friends. Eventually Mike kicked free and ran off leaving only the smell of ammonia behind.

I smiled, "Jasper." The air calmed.

Edward, my brother thought, Officer Swan knows. He's on to us. We're moving in two days. Emmett and I will come to get you, all right?

"Alright." I whispered back, "How did he find out."

Not sure. Jasper replied. Having nothing left to say Jasper walked off back into the night.

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Oh Edward, you are so melodramatic. Second time you've compared yourself to Satan? Good job, I mean Bella only compared you to an archangel like a million times, but never to God himself. Why am I arguing with something I wrote? These are the kinds of things that go through my mind while I'm writing. Sorry there wasn't a lot of interaction between Carly and Eddie, buuuut well whatever.

Anyway reviews are scientifically proven to attract vampires (non-sparkly or sparkly, reviewer's choice.)


	3. Chapter 3

-Random Nonsense from your Author- Anyone else excited and terrified of the new Twilight movie? On one hand, dude, Italy (or pseudo-Italy judging from the pseudo-Native Americans -_- ) on the other hand, dude, Twilight....

-Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight. I am just a silly little fan boy with a dirty pleasure for Jasper slash.

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Just as Jasper promised, he and Emmett came for me in two days time. It didn't take long to unearth me. As Emmett stopped down the earth around the grave he admitted that he'd liked to have let the ground a little upturned, "Everyone at school thinks you're 'back from the dead'! It's hilarious! Mike Newton swears he wrestled with you!"

Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Carlisle says we're headed for Massachusetts. Some place called New Salem." He snorted. The war might have ended, but Jasper still didn't think very highly of the Northern states. It was a slow healing process.

"Carlisle's been there before back when it was first settled in the 1700's" Emmett continued.

"Ah."

"He's already got a job set up, and Esmee found a house, and Rose and Al got all our stuff together, and Jazz got us all fake birth certificates and stuff--"

"What did you do." I interrupted.

"I watched football."

XxX

New Salem was a beautiful little town, old and majestic, even by my standards. There was a breath a New England elegance to it. Rosalie seemed right at home, her loveliness off-set by the final wisps of the winter season.

Due to the 'incident' it was too dangerous to continue going by the name Cullen. By luck or by fate, Masen was drawn as our new family name.

It dawned on me as I walked through my newest alma mater that this would be the first time in nearly a hundred years that I had been called Edward Masen.

This school was no different than the other. Boys fantasized about Rosalie and Alice, while some glanced at Jasper, Emmett and I while keeping a tight hand around their girlfriend's waists. It was the girl's who threw themselves though. Once they learned of the status between Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper and Alice, I, the spare was made the affections of many girl's desires. True some still fancied Jasper and Emmet, but the were trickier and had to be snuck away craftily. I was easer. I'd tell them I was gay to escape their thoughts, but somehow I doubted that would work.

Secretly, I hated this place, the smell, the leaves, the entire Eastern Coast. I could never tell Carlisle that. He seemed to happy.

I could never tell Carlisle but I saw her everywhere. Isabella Swan.

Too my horror I looked up one day in English class to see her standing before me. "Is something the matter, Edward."

I screamed, almost falling back.

"Is something wrong, Edward?" The phantom repeated. "Is there something wrong, Edward?"

"Get away from me!" I screamed falling out of my chair.

"Mr. Masen." I blinked. My English teacher stood before me, "Is there something wrong, Mr. Masen."

The class was silent, unsure if what they had witnessed was terribly funny, or horrifying.

XxX

She stood guard in my room, watching me as I pretended to sleep. Sitting curled up in the corner of my room. Stationed next to my bookshelf. She'd stand over me and whisper, "Is there something wrong, Edward?" A horrible phrase. Striped and subverted till it was barely something a sweet child should speak.

Sometimes Carlisle would come and sit with me. Like he had done when I was a newborn. I never called him, and no one ever asked him to go comfort me. He just came and sat with me. A fellow cell mate.

He'd stare at the corner of my room trying to see what I saw, a warm hand on my thigh.

No one else could see my guard. They said I was imagining things, but I knew better. If vampires exist in this world, then why not phantoms? Why not all manner of hooded figures, ghosts and poltergeist and spirits. If vampires then why not angels and demons and monsters under the bed, and skeletons in the closet? And witches and warlocks and all manner of occult blasphemy? And why, if humans are the pinnacle of God's good creation aren't there menageries full of these beasts? To be stared at, to be collected. Such wonders are not a privilege to the so called stewards of the earth.

Father's cannot protect their daughters against what lurks in the night, and Mother's cannot protect there sons against death and disease. But yet this soul-stealing transformation protects youth and health and beauty. What a mistake Carlisle made to have me, to change me--to change all of us-- for someone's life--if it could be called such-- was spent protecting the sick, the ill, to infect-- perhaps out of sheer heart wrenching loneliness?-- others with this disease. For what does it profit a man to gain the world, but lose his soul?

I sigh, and stare out the window of the school I hate, and look at the leaves I detest on the trees I despise. "It profits the man the world."

XxX

It felt good to settle back down in New England. To have no worries in my world but Edward. But then again Edward was always the worry in the back of my mind. The first and the last. Perhaps even more so due to the current string of events.

But the weather was beginning to change. The world was beginning to bud into Northeastern spring, meek and mild and clothed only in the remains of the winter air. It was an in between time, a time when everything opens up again and comes back into itself anew. There was no need for worries for everything would work out in it's own way.

I remember thinking, I should go home. Perhaps to the Scottish Moore and find Alistair, hiding in an abandoned church. I could take some time off to race with him, not stopping till we reached Stonehenge. And then to London, Buckingham Palace, and feast on rats like kings.

Wishful thinking. I would feast on rats, he would feast on kings.

People passed by me, bundled up to protect themselves from the dying winter. I watched them comfortable in the cold. Comfortable sitting on a park bench like a Emperor or a beggar, ruler of his world.

And then Charlie Swan appeared, shotgun in hand.

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Urg. Charlie was only supposed to be a minor character, but after he punched Carly he wouldn't go away. I pretty much stopped and had a damn moment. In hind sight I rather like this better than what I originally planned, so thanks Charlie... I guess...

To read is to human, to review divine!


	4. Chapter 4

Ack. Last chapter. I hope you all enjoyed reading this, as I've enjoyed writing it. And now onto the shocking conclusion of To Gain the World.

Disclaimer: Steph owns Twilight. I'm only in it to make Eddy cry.

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I stood fear hammering in my chest like a horse's heart. Officer Swan fired off a shot, a warning. The people scattered.

My mind raced. Alice-- why didn't she? No it was too sudden for her to tell, And Edward--Edward's been so out of sorts lately. Oh dear Lord what if someone comes? Oh please Lord don't let him shoot anyone!

Still praying that God would protect anyone and everyone in the vicinity from a stray bullet, I held up my hands, "Officer Swan, please."

"Hear to suck more innocent kids, huh, Cullen?" He growled.

"Please put the gun down before someone gets hurt!"

Swan growled, low and feral like a wolf and pulled the trigger. I saw the powder ignite and the bullet push it's way down the barrel. I watched it crawl through the air, making a b-line for my chest. And I knew, I knew with all my heart it wouldn't hurt me. A thousand bullets wouldn't hurt my body. Nothing could hurt it, not chill, not fire, not metal. I knew there would be no way on earth he'd be able to make amends for his only daughter.

And I wished, truly and deeply for some blessing from god that that bullet would kill me. For I would want--no need-- to do the same if anyone where to hurt my Esmee, my Rosalie, or my Alice. I knew what it was like, you always saw them as that little girl with the broken leg, even when they lay dead in the morgue. I wanted to give him peace like I'd given Mrs. Mason peace, like I'd given Esmee new peace, like I'd given Rosalie peace, time and again.

I wanted to give Bella Swan peace. But she is dead and in heaven now, with the Holy Father, instead of someone who fancies himself to be.

The bullet barely touched me. It was like Officer Swan threw a rubber ball against a thick steel wall. It deflected, carried by its momentum, careening aimlessly threw the air. Purposeless, only going forward because something deep inside itself was driving it forward.

It felt sick, I could hear my Clan's foot steps thundering towards me. Edward's were the closest. Approaching me, closer and closer till he was in Swan's sights. I couldn't move too transfixed--perhaps horrified-- by the flight of the bullet in space.

And oddly enough, I saw my life flash before my eyes.

XxX

I stand.

"Mr. Mason--"

I run, I need out of this place. I need these thoughts out of my head. I want to clear the thoughts and be alone again.

It's my feet that are directing me. Not my mind. Somewhere. Something. I need to make sense of this. I need someone to make sense of this.

"Mr. Mason!"

Wait? Is that me? I don't know. I was Edward Mason, once. But he died. Died too long ago for me too remember.

Frustrated, I run faster, faster away from the school. Behind me I hear my siblings. Chasing after their insane, paranoid brother. I push off, wanting to put as much distance between them and me as humanly possible-- no not humanly possible anymore.

Finally, my feet lead me to Carlisle.

My heart should have stopped. He's facing off against Swan. Swan has a gun. Swan shot Carlisle. I should be angry. I should want blood. I should want Swan's head. Do I want it? Ok. Alright. I will.

My body collides with Swans. He doesn't know what hit him. Doesn't realize it's me. Perhaps, he didn't consider the possibility I was still 'alive'. Yes, that could be it.

His bones crushed to powder from the force of my blow. I could feel it give way under my skin. Brittle. The gun fires, the bullet going off somewhere. Swan falls, neck broken.

The smell of his blood clogs my nose. I back away, turn disgusted. Sickened by what I'd done, what I'd seen. I want to vomit, throw up all the blood in my body, get it out of my system. Get Bella Swan out from my veins. I gag on my own spit.

Carlisle moves forward, uncertain, wanting to change Charlie Swan, but not wanting to. He can see it, Charles Swan, strong, beautiful, eternal. Able to cut down evil vampires who preyed upon innocent girls. Having no reason to fear again. Driven by the desire to protect and to serve. It was a beautiful picture. All gold and silver and ornate. And he'd form his own coven of like minded people, missionaries almost, he'd have the desire to spread Carlisle's revelation around the globe. Strong enough to tear down the Volturi, and establish a new era of peace and tranquility.

It is a beautiful though. Shining like a star. It is utterly perfect, the things the Romanticist dreamed off.

And then there is another image. One of a father standing up against forces he knew he'd never be able to win against. Love so strong he would sacrifice that fragile blossom of life.

We aren't like that. Blades and bullets and bombs can't hurt us. We aren't able to sacrifice ourselves for each other. The pinnacle of love-- laying down one's very life-- we can not achieve, never reach.

Had I been the one to protect Bella from the mortal dangers of the world it would mean nothing. Yet for Charlie... it meant everything.

And Carlisle is loathe to take that simple beauty away, to end it with one fatal bite.

Carlisle leaned over Charlie's body and sunk his teeth into Charlie's neck.

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Holy shit it's over :dies: That means this is you very last chance to comment! I hope you had as much fun as I did, or else you know. I'll have to hurt you.


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